Every day I get to walk into a classroom and teach is a gift. I am fortunate to have the awesome responsibility of educating those who want to learn. I am a community college adjunct professor and it is, by far, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Tonight was an amazing night in class and I need to share it with you.
My night class consists of mostly non-traditional students who work all day and come to class at night. I do have a few younger students, but they carry their share of burdens as well. One particular student is returning to school for the first time in seventeen years. She came back to school for nursing, I believe, and this woman is a natural healer. We will call her Alexander. (I know this is a man's name, but it's my blog and I do what I want.)
Alexander has endured many losses in her life. For her first paper, she wrote about one in the context of what fitness meant to her. After reading her paper, I went to the gym. It was that good.
Tonight, I helped Alexander with the planning of her second paper and I saw something in her that someone once saw in me. Alexander is a writer and she has a hell of a story to tell. As she talked to me about her paper, I organized her thoughts on the white board. What I saw before me was the makings of a self-help book that could help millions of people cope with devastating losses. Most importantly, I saw in Alexander that she has a gift that she has been stifling and for years. Loss after loss is just shoved into the corners of her mending heart. She didn't have an out before she found it in this class.
Alexander told me that she thinks so much at night that she can't sleep. I told her to get a notebook and put it by her bed and write everything she has in the notebook when she can't sleep. I guaranteed her this would give her the most gorgeous sleep she'd ever had. I told her that writing can be the one thing she does for herself in her hectic life. I also told her to make sure I get a signed copy of her book when it's published. She laughed and thought about it. She she'd stop and get a notebook on the way home.
I spent an hour with Alexander and I am excited about her paper and about this new chapter in her life. I know she will feel so much better when she begins to write. Her words and thoughts have the power to help millions because she is so strong and resilient. I know she has the power to transform her silence into language and action. I will be there for her every step of the way. Starting now.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
On Work Ethic
I am planning on writing a post about comfort zones that wll formally introduce what I have been doing for the past month and a half, but for now, I must write about work ethic.
I am currently teaching at a couple community colleges in South Jersey and Southeastern PA, respectively. Though the two schools are like day and night, one thing that is constant is how the work ethic of my students differs greatly from my own. Yes, this is a generalization - most of my students' work ethic is just fine, but others are a complete nightmare.
I had a student email me today and ask me, his professor, to print his paper for class tomorrow. This is the exact same student who sits in my class and talks to the person next to him the entire time. When I told him that he needs to print it on campus, he asked me where. I referred him to the library. Hours later and still dissatisfied with my answer, he said "It would be gratefully appreciated if you receive this before class and print it thank you." [sic] Really? I don't know about you, but I am not 100% in love with his tone. I wrote him back and reminded him that I am his professor, NOT his buddy, and that there are several ways around getting a paper printed out when you don't have a flash drive.
I have another student who has not purchased the required text for my class and who will, most likely, fail the comprehension quiz I am giving them tomorrow. Likewise, she told me on Friday that she would not be able to type her paper or print it out. I, again, referred her to the library. Naturally, she had some sort of retort for that and I told her I didn't know what to tell her.
The problem here is the lack of a strong work ethic in these particular students. The one is clearly lazy and the other would like to hide behind poverty. Here's a little antidote about work ethic and poverty:
My first year of college, I went to the bookstore and purchased books. I spent $550 on textbooks. I spent all of my savings. Dazed and confused, I thought there had to be a better way. There was. I got a job at the library and learned that the library is required to have every book that is sold in the bookstore. I worked there for 5 years and never bought another book. I emailed my professors weeks before classes began and requested the list of books. I read them all and took copious notes then returned them to the shelves before classes began.
True, you aren't supposed to do that, but the books were REQUIRED. I knew that getting an education was the only chance I had to make it out of the hood and to secure my future. I did what I had to do.
I have always been the kid who had to work her ass off for everything. I have been working since I was 14. I often had to walk to work and back because I didn't have reliable people to come and get me. When I got a finally car, it was a piece of crap, but it was what I could afford. For the most part, the six lemons I purchased got me to work and back.
The point is: I never stopped. I never gave up. The horror stories I could tell you would stop a normal person dead in their tracks. I am not sure how I made it through all of the shit I've been through, but I did.
My life right now is not perfect, but it is damn near close. I have a job that I love and I got here because I worked hard and sacrificed for my education.
Why can't ... why won't some of my students do the same?
I am currently teaching at a couple community colleges in South Jersey and Southeastern PA, respectively. Though the two schools are like day and night, one thing that is constant is how the work ethic of my students differs greatly from my own. Yes, this is a generalization - most of my students' work ethic is just fine, but others are a complete nightmare.
I had a student email me today and ask me, his professor, to print his paper for class tomorrow. This is the exact same student who sits in my class and talks to the person next to him the entire time. When I told him that he needs to print it on campus, he asked me where. I referred him to the library. Hours later and still dissatisfied with my answer, he said "It would be gratefully appreciated if you receive this before class and print it thank you." [sic] Really? I don't know about you, but I am not 100% in love with his tone. I wrote him back and reminded him that I am his professor, NOT his buddy, and that there are several ways around getting a paper printed out when you don't have a flash drive.
I have another student who has not purchased the required text for my class and who will, most likely, fail the comprehension quiz I am giving them tomorrow. Likewise, she told me on Friday that she would not be able to type her paper or print it out. I, again, referred her to the library. Naturally, she had some sort of retort for that and I told her I didn't know what to tell her.
The problem here is the lack of a strong work ethic in these particular students. The one is clearly lazy and the other would like to hide behind poverty. Here's a little antidote about work ethic and poverty:
My first year of college, I went to the bookstore and purchased books. I spent $550 on textbooks. I spent all of my savings. Dazed and confused, I thought there had to be a better way. There was. I got a job at the library and learned that the library is required to have every book that is sold in the bookstore. I worked there for 5 years and never bought another book. I emailed my professors weeks before classes began and requested the list of books. I read them all and took copious notes then returned them to the shelves before classes began.
True, you aren't supposed to do that, but the books were REQUIRED. I knew that getting an education was the only chance I had to make it out of the hood and to secure my future. I did what I had to do.
I have always been the kid who had to work her ass off for everything. I have been working since I was 14. I often had to walk to work and back because I didn't have reliable people to come and get me. When I got a finally car, it was a piece of crap, but it was what I could afford. For the most part, the six lemons I purchased got me to work and back.
The point is: I never stopped. I never gave up. The horror stories I could tell you would stop a normal person dead in their tracks. I am not sure how I made it through all of the shit I've been through, but I did.
My life right now is not perfect, but it is damn near close. I have a job that I love and I got here because I worked hard and sacrificed for my education.
Why can't ... why won't some of my students do the same?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Open Letter to Uppity Urban Charter Schools or Numbers on a Page
Dear Uppity Urban Charter Schools,
It has come to my attention that most of you will not give me or my resume the time of day because you have insanely high standards for both your students and your faculty. This is wonderful, but disingenuous at best. Allow me to explain.
The State of New Jersey requires its teachers to have a 2.75 GPA in order to be certified by the state. I am certified by the state. My GPA as an undergrad was a 2.75. Most of you require your teachers to have a 3.0 GPA as an undergrad. Therefore, though I am qualified to teach and state certified, you people deem me sub par because of my undergrad GPA. Because of the numbers on a page.
Those numbers, my dear would be constituents, lack context. Those numbers do not tell you how much adversity I had to overcome to get that GPA and graduate from college. They don't tell you that I worked three jobs to keep myself in school. They don't tell you how my dad left; gave up and walked out years ago for sheer lack of interest. They don't tell you how my mother struggles with mental illness and that she had a nervous breakdown and moved across the country to get better. She left me in my dorm room with all of my worldly possessions. The rest of the stuff was tossed when we got evicted from the apartment, a step down from the house that we lost due to foreclosure. Foreclosure that came when my mom stopped fighting. When the reality of being followed, trailed and watched by the police because of my brother's drug peddling became too much. When the memory of having our house raided by police was too dark, when the funds to keep bailing my brother out of jail drained her of the energy to do simple tasks like get out of bed.
I could go on, but you have proven that you aren't interested in the reasons why my GPA as an undergrad was just average. You also don't seem to care that my GPA in graduate school was a 3.5. None of this is interesting to you because you are fixated on the numbers on my 10 page transcript featuring my name and social security number.
So, fine. Hire the Teach for America kids whose only knowledge about poverty is theoretical. Teach for America, like you Uppity Urban Charter Schools, only selects the best of the best from Ivy league or Ivy-league wannabe colleges and universities. TFA kids have no clue what they are signing up for when they apply. I also applied to Teach for America, buy the way. They didn't want me. Probably because of my GPA.
My knowledge of poverty and struggle is very real. I have lived it. As a matter of fact, I have lived below the poverty line my entire life. I'll be 25 on Sunday. These are obstacles I overcame to become the person I am today. I understand FIRST HAND what these kids are going through. I didn't learn about their situations from a book or in a teacher prep class. Their story is my story. That one of the reasons I became an educator in the first place. I knew I could be an example for some kid who was feeling hopeless because of his or her circumstance. I felt this way once and I had teachers who helped me through it.
This is not, however, the chance you are willing to afford me because of my undergraduate GPA. Have fun finding someone who is willing to tirelessly devote all of their love and energy to your students and their education with no interest in how it looks on their resume for future job prospects.
Sincerely,
Nina J Davidson
It has come to my attention that most of you will not give me or my resume the time of day because you have insanely high standards for both your students and your faculty. This is wonderful, but disingenuous at best. Allow me to explain.
The State of New Jersey requires its teachers to have a 2.75 GPA in order to be certified by the state. I am certified by the state. My GPA as an undergrad was a 2.75. Most of you require your teachers to have a 3.0 GPA as an undergrad. Therefore, though I am qualified to teach and state certified, you people deem me sub par because of my undergrad GPA. Because of the numbers on a page.
Those numbers, my dear would be constituents, lack context. Those numbers do not tell you how much adversity I had to overcome to get that GPA and graduate from college. They don't tell you that I worked three jobs to keep myself in school. They don't tell you how my dad left; gave up and walked out years ago for sheer lack of interest. They don't tell you how my mother struggles with mental illness and that she had a nervous breakdown and moved across the country to get better. She left me in my dorm room with all of my worldly possessions. The rest of the stuff was tossed when we got evicted from the apartment, a step down from the house that we lost due to foreclosure. Foreclosure that came when my mom stopped fighting. When the reality of being followed, trailed and watched by the police because of my brother's drug peddling became too much. When the memory of having our house raided by police was too dark, when the funds to keep bailing my brother out of jail drained her of the energy to do simple tasks like get out of bed.
I could go on, but you have proven that you aren't interested in the reasons why my GPA as an undergrad was just average. You also don't seem to care that my GPA in graduate school was a 3.5. None of this is interesting to you because you are fixated on the numbers on my 10 page transcript featuring my name and social security number.
So, fine. Hire the Teach for America kids whose only knowledge about poverty is theoretical. Teach for America, like you Uppity Urban Charter Schools, only selects the best of the best from Ivy league or Ivy-league wannabe colleges and universities. TFA kids have no clue what they are signing up for when they apply. I also applied to Teach for America, buy the way. They didn't want me. Probably because of my GPA.
My knowledge of poverty and struggle is very real. I have lived it. As a matter of fact, I have lived below the poverty line my entire life. I'll be 25 on Sunday. These are obstacles I overcame to become the person I am today. I understand FIRST HAND what these kids are going through. I didn't learn about their situations from a book or in a teacher prep class. Their story is my story. That one of the reasons I became an educator in the first place. I knew I could be an example for some kid who was feeling hopeless because of his or her circumstance. I felt this way once and I had teachers who helped me through it.
This is not, however, the chance you are willing to afford me because of my undergraduate GPA. Have fun finding someone who is willing to tirelessly devote all of their love and energy to your students and their education with no interest in how it looks on their resume for future job prospects.
Sincerely,
Nina J Davidson
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
On Educational Leadership or What's God Got to Do With It?
In the light of having some very promising interviews not work out because of issues with the right fit, I am left to ponder the value of educational leadership. I have worked in both the private and public school sectors and I fully comprehend the politics of the process. No one said it would be fair, but I understand how it works. Educational leadership has the ability to make or break this process.
In the instance of the school where I did my first year of teaching, the educational leadership is poor, at best. He, unfortunately, has the final say in everything. I say "unfortunately" because the decision of this man do not serve the greatest, highest good of the students. As it is an independent school, the institution would crumble without the students whose parents pay tuition for their children to be prepped for college. Sadly, there are public schools surrounding this particular school that do a better job in this area. Allow me to explain.
The school does not have a media center. That's right. No media center and no books. In short, no library for the upper school. It has one computer lab with about 15 computers. All of the software licenses have expired and there is simply "no room in the budget" to buy the programs. (They were originally running by less than savory means of appropriation.) There are no computers or instructional technology in any of the classrooms. Students do not know how to perform simple tasks like saving items to the desktop or saving a document to a flash drive. The school does not have ANY people of color on the faculty save for one; the Spanish teacher who was recently demoted in order to make room for a current faculty member's sister to teach in her place. I could go on, but somehow I think you're starting to get the picture.
What the school does have, however, is a brand new sprinkler system in the baseball field, a brand new fence around the perimeter of the property. It has recently acquired real estate on an adjacent street. The purpose of this purchase is unknown. The sports teams have new uniforms...
The point I am trying to make is that the school is a college preparatory school where little to no money/effort is going into prepping the students for college. This is because of the current educational leadership in place. Don't get me wrong, the kids are getting into some incredible schools. You can attribute their success to the woman in charge of College Counseling.
I was never prepped for college. As a matter of fact, I did all of my applications myself because my guidance counselor was in Russian adopting a baby and the others were too busy with their own kids to help me out. The difference? I went to a vocational school where college prep was never a priority. I made it in college because I had to. Failure was never an option for me because I knew what was waiting for me at home and I was fortunate enough to have a support system around me at school that would not allow me to falter.
I love the students I worked with last year. ADORED them. (Still do) Everything I did, I did for them. I spent money, I spent time. I hounded the ones who wanted to give up and made them do better because I saw potential in them when they refused to realize it in themselves. I would do anything for these kids, which is, I think, the attitude any educator should adapt. I would not have a job without them. I love what I do because of them. I want, more than anything, to be instrumental in their success.
I can not say the same for the leadership in place. All he cares about is sports. Sad, but ever so true. You may think I am standing on a soap box here, but the guy doesn't care about anything but the students making it on the front page of the sports section. Prime example, students at the school have a sports requirement. Each and every one of them is required to play on a sports team to fulfill the physical education requirement. I understand school children need to be physically active, but what about their brains? Don't they need intellectual stimulation as well?
I will not be returning to this school in the fall due to a standstill in negotiations. Little did I know, there was no room for negotiation in this process. (When I asked more compensation, which came out to $71 a week, I was met with a letter basically telling me 'good luck' in finding another job.) Today, I received the following letter from said ed leader:
Dear Nina,
Please continue to aggressively pursue your other teaching/employment options. You have a very impressive resumé and I would welcome the opportunity to add my letter of recommendation or speak directly to those who are seriously considering your credentials. You did an outstanding job for us last year at D.A. Let’s stay open to the possibility of our working together again in the future.
All that said, I wanted you to know as soon as we knew that we have filled the “Humanities, etc” position with a CS&A “rookie” from Bates College. He is very familiar with the preparatory school expectations as a graduate from Kent. He also has an appreciation for the value of athletics as leader in swimming at Kent and rowing at Bates.
I believe very strongly that God holds all of us in his His hands and that you and D.A. will continue to receive and be a conduit for his grace wherever and however it works out. Thanks for your investments in D.A. You are always welcome here!
Respectfully,
JM
Case in point. The new humanities teacher is a stellar athlete. He will, no doubt, be exploiting him for this while simultaneously pushing academics further into the corner.
I will continue to be available for my students despite the fact that I am not longer a faculty member. I lost a bet to one of them and I am, therefore, obligated to be at his basketball games for the entire season. Just because I am not working there, does not mean I am going to let the kid down. He has had enough of that both at home and at school. I refuse to be another adult who disappoints him. I know how that feels and I will not do that to him, or any of them.
In the instance of the school where I did my first year of teaching, the educational leadership is poor, at best. He, unfortunately, has the final say in everything. I say "unfortunately" because the decision of this man do not serve the greatest, highest good of the students. As it is an independent school, the institution would crumble without the students whose parents pay tuition for their children to be prepped for college. Sadly, there are public schools surrounding this particular school that do a better job in this area. Allow me to explain.
The school does not have a media center. That's right. No media center and no books. In short, no library for the upper school. It has one computer lab with about 15 computers. All of the software licenses have expired and there is simply "no room in the budget" to buy the programs. (They were originally running by less than savory means of appropriation.) There are no computers or instructional technology in any of the classrooms. Students do not know how to perform simple tasks like saving items to the desktop or saving a document to a flash drive. The school does not have ANY people of color on the faculty save for one; the Spanish teacher who was recently demoted in order to make room for a current faculty member's sister to teach in her place. I could go on, but somehow I think you're starting to get the picture.
What the school does have, however, is a brand new sprinkler system in the baseball field, a brand new fence around the perimeter of the property. It has recently acquired real estate on an adjacent street. The purpose of this purchase is unknown. The sports teams have new uniforms...
The point I am trying to make is that the school is a college preparatory school where little to no money/effort is going into prepping the students for college. This is because of the current educational leadership in place. Don't get me wrong, the kids are getting into some incredible schools. You can attribute their success to the woman in charge of College Counseling.
I was never prepped for college. As a matter of fact, I did all of my applications myself because my guidance counselor was in Russian adopting a baby and the others were too busy with their own kids to help me out. The difference? I went to a vocational school where college prep was never a priority. I made it in college because I had to. Failure was never an option for me because I knew what was waiting for me at home and I was fortunate enough to have a support system around me at school that would not allow me to falter.
I love the students I worked with last year. ADORED them. (Still do) Everything I did, I did for them. I spent money, I spent time. I hounded the ones who wanted to give up and made them do better because I saw potential in them when they refused to realize it in themselves. I would do anything for these kids, which is, I think, the attitude any educator should adapt. I would not have a job without them. I love what I do because of them. I want, more than anything, to be instrumental in their success.
I can not say the same for the leadership in place. All he cares about is sports. Sad, but ever so true. You may think I am standing on a soap box here, but the guy doesn't care about anything but the students making it on the front page of the sports section. Prime example, students at the school have a sports requirement. Each and every one of them is required to play on a sports team to fulfill the physical education requirement. I understand school children need to be physically active, but what about their brains? Don't they need intellectual stimulation as well?
I will not be returning to this school in the fall due to a standstill in negotiations. Little did I know, there was no room for negotiation in this process. (When I asked more compensation, which came out to $71 a week, I was met with a letter basically telling me 'good luck' in finding another job.) Today, I received the following letter from said ed leader:
Dear Nina,
Please continue to aggressively pursue your other teaching/employment options. You have a very impressive resumé and I would welcome the opportunity to add my letter of recommendation or speak directly to those who are seriously considering your credentials. You did an outstanding job for us last year at D.A. Let’s stay open to the possibility of our working together again in the future.
All that said, I wanted you to know as soon as we knew that we have filled the “Humanities, etc” position with a CS&A “rookie” from Bates College. He is very familiar with the preparatory school expectations as a graduate from Kent. He also has an appreciation for the value of athletics as leader in swimming at Kent and rowing at Bates.
I believe very strongly that God holds all of us in his His hands and that you and D.A. will continue to receive and be a conduit for his grace wherever and however it works out. Thanks for your investments in D.A. You are always welcome here!
Respectfully,
JM
Case in point. The new humanities teacher is a stellar athlete. He will, no doubt, be exploiting him for this while simultaneously pushing academics further into the corner.
I will continue to be available for my students despite the fact that I am not longer a faculty member. I lost a bet to one of them and I am, therefore, obligated to be at his basketball games for the entire season. Just because I am not working there, does not mean I am going to let the kid down. He has had enough of that both at home and at school. I refuse to be another adult who disappoints him. I know how that feels and I will not do that to him, or any of them.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Spooning Almost Always Leads to Forking
I have this long standing joke/analogy with some of my students re: teenage sexuality. The subject came up when one of my allegedly promiscuous male students remarked about how after a date, he brings his lady friends home to watch movies. As one who is not too far removed from teenage life, I know *exactly* what happens when one "watches movies." The joke goes a little something like this:
If you're gonna watch movies, be sure to keep the DVDs in their cases. I know some people like to tell you that DVDs play better when they aren't in their cases, but it's not true. DVDs ALWAYS play the best when they are kept in their cases. When you don't keep them in their cases, DVDs are susceptible to all kinds of dust, scratches, food particles. Some dust, food particles and scratches can be easily buffed away, but some are permanent. For the permanent ones, no amount of DVD cleaner or rubbing them on your pant leg can get rid of them. You may think you cleaned them off, but the permanent ones always come back when you least expect it.
Furthermore, if you don't keep the DVDs in their cases, you could end up with blu-rays. I know what you're thinking: blu-rays are so cute and tiny. Trust me: no teenager needs a blu-ray. They're expensive and once you have one, you can never go back to not having one.
There is nothing wrong with deciding that you don't want to watch movies at all. Maybe you prefer ice cream and bowling; both well lit and fun activities. There is nothing wrong with ice cream and bowling. With ice cream and bowling, you will never end up with scratches on your DVD or, worse, blu-rays.
Needless to say, they thought this was a screaming riot.
I chose to give them veiled advice because I wasn't sure where the school stood on the issue. I do know, however, were I stand on the issue. Regardless of what my (or your) personal politics are: teenagers have the right to know about their sexuality so that they may make an informed decision. Period. How can you expect anyone to make a decision about their lives and their health without giving them all of the information they need first?
I don't appreciate or agree with our society devaluing teenagers. I have worked and currently work with, some very bright and very talented teenagers. I am honored to know them. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them because they lacked the knowledge to make an informed decision about their health. Would you?
If you're gonna watch movies, be sure to keep the DVDs in their cases. I know some people like to tell you that DVDs play better when they aren't in their cases, but it's not true. DVDs ALWAYS play the best when they are kept in their cases. When you don't keep them in their cases, DVDs are susceptible to all kinds of dust, scratches, food particles. Some dust, food particles and scratches can be easily buffed away, but some are permanent. For the permanent ones, no amount of DVD cleaner or rubbing them on your pant leg can get rid of them. You may think you cleaned them off, but the permanent ones always come back when you least expect it.
Furthermore, if you don't keep the DVDs in their cases, you could end up with blu-rays. I know what you're thinking: blu-rays are so cute and tiny. Trust me: no teenager needs a blu-ray. They're expensive and once you have one, you can never go back to not having one.
There is nothing wrong with deciding that you don't want to watch movies at all. Maybe you prefer ice cream and bowling; both well lit and fun activities. There is nothing wrong with ice cream and bowling. With ice cream and bowling, you will never end up with scratches on your DVD or, worse, blu-rays.
Needless to say, they thought this was a screaming riot.
I chose to give them veiled advice because I wasn't sure where the school stood on the issue. I do know, however, were I stand on the issue. Regardless of what my (or your) personal politics are: teenagers have the right to know about their sexuality so that they may make an informed decision. Period. How can you expect anyone to make a decision about their lives and their health without giving them all of the information they need first?
I don't appreciate or agree with our society devaluing teenagers. I have worked and currently work with, some very bright and very talented teenagers. I am honored to know them. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them because they lacked the knowledge to make an informed decision about their health. Would you?
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